![]() ![]() Still, it’s important to keep in mind that your partner may be working their way up to the speed or depth of penetration you desire. Forcibly manipulating your partner’s head to get what you want is not. It does mean, however, that anything you do get is consensual. That said, just because you ask for something doesn’t mean you’re going to get it. ![]() Done the right way, it can be downright sexy. It is more than okay to ask for more speed or a different level of penetration or whatever it is you want while your partner is going down on you. If you want something different than what your partner is currently dishing up, ask for it. Being able to provide constructive feedback and ask for what you want is an important part of good sex and healthy sexual communication, but that feedback is often much more effective and respectful if it’s communicated verbally. The “Dangerous” Sex Position That Allegedly Accounts for 50% of Penile Fracturesīut wait, you may be asking, how else am I supposed to communicate my needs to my partner if I can’t give her head a helpful prod in the right direction?įirst of all, you’re not the one with the dick in your mouth use your words. I understand: you’re getting a blow job and it’s so great and you’re just so damn excited you can’t even help yourself, you just want to be getting even more of this great thing you’re already getting and you want to be getting it right now. Men who do this remind me of lab rats that keep pushing the pedal for another pellet of positive reinforcement, or children in candy stores with zero self-control. Usually this strikes me not as an outwardly aggressive act, but rather as an almost unwitting act of uncurbed horniness - and a kind of embarrassing one at that. Most of the time, the motion itself is not even particularly forceful. I recognize that many men who do this are probably not even really aware they’re doing it, and also probably don’t mean to be inordinately aggressive. (They will probably end up with a sore throat, though.) Rather, I am talking about your standard blow job scenario in which the giving partner is in control, and the receiving partner can’t help but attempt to take some of that control back by manhandling his partner’s head. To be clear, I am not talking about consensual “skull fucking.” Someone can absolutely consent to having their throat aggressively pounded by their partner, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Think of it as foreplay for the throat.Īll of this careful preparation only goes so far, however, if you, a man receiving oral sex, attempt to accelerate the process by placing your hands on your partner’s head and manipulating it to increase the speed or depth of penetration. It also involves slowing down and giving the throat time to adjust to a foreign object that’s invaded its territory. This primarily involves making sure you’re well-hydrated and both the throat and the penis with which it is about to make contact are sufficiently lubed up with either spit or the non-toxic lubricant of your choice. Why? Because any experienced fellator eventually learns the fine art of slowing the hell down and properly priming both the dick and the throat for impact. Certified sex therapist Shannon Chavez recently named a sore throat the third most common “ sex-related injury” in an article for Well + Good, explaining that “rough thrusting of the penis or other objects while performing oral sex can, unsurprisingly, lead to throat pain.”īut while post-oral throat pain was a common ailment in my younger and more vulnerable head-giving years, it’s one that has decreased significantly as I’ve aged. This was a recurring problem in my early oral sex career, and according to the experts, I wasn’t alone. (Though that’s not to say it’s never an arduous process - in the immortal words of Sex and the City’s Samantha Jones, “They don’t call it a job for nothing,” - but, for those of you who have never done it, fellating a penis is a fairly intuitive process.) I also remember having a sore throat afterwards. The first time I ever performed oral sex on a man, I remember being pleasantly surprised by how easy it was. ![]()
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